“The bus is here!” was an announcement that launched mayhem in the Grubb household. The first boy hit the back screen door so hard it often ricocheted back, threatening to face plant the second man through. In the midst of this planned chaos, I’d often hear Mom say, “Now remember to act like a Grubb. Do us proud!”
You might chuckle and consider that poor parenting or, at best, wishful thinking. But, incredibly it proved to be an important motivator for me. It not only fortified my conscience but it magically propped up my self-esteem. I wasn’t sure exactly what a “Grubb” was, but mom’s heartfelt urging confirmed that I was one—and it must be a good thing! Otherwise she wouldn’t be concerned that I might besmirch our good name.
Today, that memory still finds traction in my soul. Truth is, I’ve made it a life’s work. Later years, as my own sons left for school, I’d offer up the same challenge. “Remember you’re a Grubb.” Looking back, I probably should have set the bar higher.
When I was a kid, a family’s good reputation was highly valued. Like a Pentecostal preacher, mom demanded we respect authority. She often reminded us that the services offered by our community were privileges to be appreciated. School was not merely a requirement, it was a gift.
I vividly recall the seriousness with which I received the warning from the licensing officer as he handed me my first drivers license—“This driver’s license is a privilege not a right!” That challenge landed on my 16-year-old spirit with the no less respect and authority than if it were coming from my father. I’m not able to fully explain it, but I knew I wanted to please that officer, just as I wanted to please my parents.
I fear that what my parents’ valued is now considered antiquated and passé. They believed a child’s wellbeing is best protected in a community where the greater good is more important than the feelings or rights of that single child.
If I learned about authority from my mom, I learned about physics from my dad. He taught me that for every disciplinary action I received outside the home there would be an equal reaction at home. Dad not only endorsed the schools authority, he backed it up with equal discipline of his own. God’s truth: Dad once called the Mr. Milsom, Berne Union’s principal after I received four whacks for throwing snowballs at school buses, to tell him how much he appreciated what Mr. Milsom had done and to assure the good principal a similar response awaited his errant son when he arrived home.
I regret to say, Dad once again proved to be a man of his word.
“…have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children?
“My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects.
“God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.” Hebrews 12:5-11 The Message
Hardy plants grow deeper roots in difficult soil. Philip Gulley, one of my favorite authors, tells of an old man on his paper route who planted several maple saplings in his front yard. Often, after the young Philip had delivered the old gentleman’s paper, he would see him gently whack the saplings with the rolled up newspaper. When Philip asked why, the man replied, “To get their attention and toughen them up.” Apparently it worked because years later, Mr. Gulley purchased that home and today basks in the lush shade of maple trees that laugh at the wind and lean fearlessly into winter’s blast.
I pray for your children, that they will grow into hardy and hale adults who can lean into the adversity of an ill-winded culture and stand steady when life shakes at their roots.
Read Ron’s column, Simple Faith, each Saturday on the Faith Page (page 3) of the Lancaster Eagle Gazette, or visit www.lancastereaglegazette.com.