Earlier this year, Marilyn and I combined households with her father, Wayne. This happy arrangement resulted in a mishmash of furniture so that the living room looks like a second hand store. When Wayne announced that he had invited 20 guests to our home from his church’s Advent Group each week during December—in addition to the small group Marilyn and I already host each week, plus the three Christmas party planned for our home—we all agreed it was time to move the decades-old seating to the bargain basement and go shopping.
Since men don’t go shopping, but hunting, we grabbed a stammering Marilyn by the arm, hitched up the utility trailer and headed to town. We soon landed on a large three piece suit, paid the purdy little lady, and headed to the warehouse to load up our wagon. Looking at the upholstered pieces hunkered on the loading dock and then back at my tiny flat-bed trailer, Wayne said, “I think you’re gonna havta make two trips.” I smirked and accepted this as a personal one-load challenge.
We piled the love seat onto the sofa and the chair onto the loveseat, their chubby arms clinging to one another for dear life. The sofa hung over the sides, its little legs squeezing the trailer for grip like a sumo wrestler riding a Shetland pony. I wove a dizzying array of ratchet straps, clinched the squatted mass, slapped the side of the SUV and ordered, “Head em up, move em out!” I whistled the theme from Rawhide, but Marilyn muttered something about the Beverly Hillbillies while Wayne smiled and said, “Here comes Sanford and Son!”
As we cleared the city limits, I poured on the coal, anxious to get home and rearrange furniture. Several miles out of town and well over the speed limit, the little trailer hustled to keep up, swaying back and forth behind our speeding SUV like a toddler drug along by its parents. My myopic focus on our destination had overpowered my sense of caution, until…
…until Marilyn reached over and gently touched my arm.
Her gentle nudge spoke as clearly as if she had said aloud, “Ron, please slow down.” Like a small child, proud that I understood, I quipped, “That means slow down, doesn’t it?” I stole a glance her way—even as her white knuckles gripped the OMG handle, she continued her ubiquitous smile as she nodded in the affirmative.
It wasn’t until I began to write about this event that it occurred to me how graciously she handled my recklessness. Her nudge was carefully calculated to avoid embarrassing me in front of her dad. One of Marilyn’s core values is that she honors me, particularly in front of others. Never, “Hey Mario, SLOW DOWN!” or irritating, patronizing questions like, “Honey, do you think maybe you’re driving too fast?” Nope! None of that—just a gentile’ face-saving nudge. Wow, what a gift! I’m so glad I responded appropriately and slowed to a safe speed… this time.
Makes me wonder how often the Lord saves my bacon by gently nudging me.
Lord, thank you for your unlimited patience with me. Thank you that you don’t smack me down when I mess up, but that you gently and patiently fight for me—never against me.
Read Romans 8:34 (The Message)
34 Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us.
- Can you recall a time when you received grace instead of judgment for your mistake?
- What qualified Jesus to stick up for you before the Father in heaven?
- Recall a time when someone honored you. How did it make you feel?
- What part does humility play in being honored?
Read Ephesians 5:21-25 (The Message)
21 Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
22 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.
23 The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
24 So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
25 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–a love marked by giving, not getting.
- According to these verses, what (or who) is our motivation for honoring others?
- What is a guaranteed way to know we are honoring Jesus Christ?
- Believing wives are told to support their husband “in ways that show your support for Christ.” What does that look like?
- According to verse 23, in what area(s) is a husband to honor his wife?
- How exactly did Christ “go all out” in His love for the church and for you?
Read 1 Peter 3:7 (The Message)
7 “…Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.”
- What do you think Peter means when he says for men to “honor and delight” in their spouse?
- In the context of Peter’s world, women were simply not empowered by their culture. How might we properly honor women today?
- What do you think it means by our prayers running aground?