It’s incredible how much syrup can ooze out of a flat screen TV.
My wonderful wife Marilyn loves sappy Christmas movies, and apparently there are countless variations of the same predictable plot: Girl has shallow boyfriend, girl goes home for Christmas, girl endures boorish relatives and falls in love with her former boyfriend. In the meantime an orphan wanders into the picture along with a wounded soldier holding a puppy.
There are the few occasional twists. For instance in last night’s saccharine Christmas special, the puppy was injured in action and the soldier wasn’t housebroken. Hand me another tissue, please.
I’m thinking about writing a Christmas movie for guys. You’re probably thinking it would involve an over the top, jacked up, four-wheel drive truck or a 70 mph bass boat, right? Well, heck yea!
You can bet your missile-tows on that!
Sometimes I think women just don’t understand men. I once overheard two wives chatting at a car show—
“My husband finally got the bass boat he’s always wanted.” Her friend, “My husband has been driving me crazy for a new bass boat! What’s so special about a bass boat?” “Well, you know men… it has to go a hundred miles an hour… or something crazy like that!” To which her sarcastic friend replied, “Seriously? I had no idea bass could swim that fast!”
Women can be so insensitive, can’t they! I mean, I’ve never met her husband and I got misty eyed picturing that emotional moment as he towed his new boat to the lake.
Where are the Christmas movies about a guy getting his bass boat? That’s the stuff that tugs at men’s hearts. We men have been labeled as boorish and insensitive. Shoot, we’re the most sensitive creatures on the planet when it comes to the things we’re really interested in. I watch as grown men cry every week on the reality TV show Overhaulin’. Great plot: Chip Foose’s team steals Joe Average’s beat up old car from the his back yard and secretly overhaul it into his dream car. I’ve watched as big, grizzly men sob, their bulky shoulders slumped in humble disbelief as Chip and the Overhaulin’ crew unveil the professionally restored ride. And I’m not just talking about the lucky dude who gets his car overhauled—I’m talking about every guy who’s watching across America!
I think men need their own Christmas network: The Haulmark Channel. Stories about middle aged men who go home at Christmas to find a 10-year-old orphaned boy living in the 1948 Chevy Pickup his great grandpa left him. And its hitched to a new bass boat! Yea…that’s the ticket! The guy adopts the kid while jingle bells rattle in the distance and Chip Foose (dressed as Santa) overhauls the thing on Christmas Eve…now that would make a great Christmas classic!
Whether we’re masculine or feminine, we are moved by what’s closest to our hearts. It’s a heart thing, isn’t it? I get it; women are relational creatures so stories of personal interaction touch their hearts. Men are stereotypically more likely to relate to things and projects… and the people who are attached to those things and projects.
I think that’s why the real Christmas story includes not only the relational dynamic of a young virgin, precariously pregnant, but it also includes the strong element of Joseph, risking his reputation and resources for the family he loves. Their struggle becomes our struggle and the gift of that baby’s birth becomes our greatest gift. Truth is, we all should be touched by the Bethlehem drama. Deep within each of us there is a child longing to be expressed. Why do sappy Christmas movies make us cry? Why do grown men cry when the child in them is uncovered? Because of the strength found in the Christ Child.
“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6
Read Ron’s column, Simple Faith, each Saturday on the Faith Page (page 3) of the Lancaster Eagle Gazette, or visit www.lancastereaglegazette.com.