Bold coffee was poured and reference books were piled high. I opened my heart, my head and a new document on my computer. “Lord, I really need your help,” I prayed. “Please give me wisdom and inspiration.” It was 5:00 am on a Thursday morning, and I was writing a Bible study about the Holy Spirit for small group that would meet at my home the next day. I’d been really busy (and I might have procrastinated just a teensy bit), so I had one day to accomplish what usually took me two weeks.
After my prayer and plea for help, I kinda expected God to show up in a big way… after all, I was doing His work. Instead, my mind went numb and my keyboard was silent. Each idea collapsed. I couldn’t string two sentences together. And the distractions—oh, the distractions! I sorted my sock drawer and paid a few bills as I moaned ~
“This is an attack of the enemy! I will not be defeated!”
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12 NLT
I plowed through Proverbs and looked through Luke, determined to make this lesson work. It was torturous, laborious and didn’t feel very victorious. At some point during the long and unproductive day, I had another thought ~
“Maybe this is the aftermath… the consequences for my behavior.”
After all, I had let the time slip by, I had put off until today what should have been done long before. I hadn’t been having my devotions. Could my frustration actually be His loving discipline?
And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” Hebrews 12:5-6 NLT
Was this flop my fault? Nevertheless, I felt a responsibility to my guests to prepare something – anything! – for them. I worked through the day and into the night. By 2:00 am Friday morning I had a few pages of notes and a handout. But when I blearily awoke early Friday to print the materials, my computer would not cooperate. It froze—I force closed. It failed to print—I powered down again. And again. Nothing. It was then that I heard a soft whisper ~
“What if this is an opportunity in disguise?”
My computer was vexed… or was it blessed? What if God had something else in mind for our Bible study? When God interfered with the apostle Paul’s plans, he didn’t lose sight of the bigger mission—
“And now I am bound by the Spirit to go to Jerusalem. I don’t know what awaits me, except that the Holy Spirit tells me in city after city that jail and suffering lie ahead. But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God. Acts 20:22-24
I re-prayed. “Lord, this obviously isn’t going according to my plan. Do You have another plan? Help me to be sensitive to Your Spirit and follow in your footsteps.”
My fear of facing these women unprepared was only slightly appeased by my anticipation to see what the Lord might be up to. I committed the morning to Him, begging Him to bless our time together in spite of my weakness.
That morning, I let the Lord and the ladies take the lead instead of forging ahead with my checklists and teaching timeline. Everyone was in a talkative mood. We shared what God had been doing in our lives. We encouraged one another. We told hilarious and heart wrenching stories. There was laughter and tears as we praised God together! It was one of our best Bible studies ever. I had been praying for deeper friendships among us, and that morning I watched as my prayer was answered.
That day I learned that as surely as God makes the words flow, He can dam them up. He can jam printers just to make me pause. He can redeem my mistakes and use them for His purposes. He can help me overcome the enemy—even when the enemy is me. Want to know what else I learned?
Sometimes the only difference between an attack, an aftermath or an opportunity is how we answer.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord. Jeremiah 29:11-14a NLT
Lord, please help me stand firm against attacks, sort through the aftermath, or step into opportunities You place before me. Even when I don’t understand what’s happening, thank You for Your grace and the good plans You have made for me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.