I stumbled into a silent relationship with a young family as I shopped for groceries last week. We found ourselves crossing paths at approximately the same location each aisle and began sharing a smile. While Dad fought to maintain a safe distance from merchandise and pedestrians, his rambunctious son—barely able to reach the push bar—shoved the cart with all his might; Mom selected items and checked off her list. A second toddler stood in the front of the cart, his arms spread out like Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet at the helm of the Titanic, taking great delight in telling everyone he passed, “Look! I’m frying!”
The picture of this handsome young family made me smile. I decided they were a happy family. (And I pray that they are, even as I write this.)
I thought to myself, “I can’t imagine a more difficult task than parenting young children today.” I worry how the rapidly changing foundations of social convention have negatively impacted these young families. It’s as though new societal highways are being poured under their feet even as they walk; changes that increase the degree of difficulty for young parents, struggling to raise safe kids in an unsafe environment. The exponential curve of technological and sociological change makes it increasingly difficult to determine right from wrong.
When Marilyn and I parented, we relied on the established social conventions of previous generations. Today, however, as we’ve passed the parental torch onto our young people, the social landscape beneath their feet has turned to quicksand. Young families must struggle to find effective ways to safely guide their children into the next generation.
As a youngster, I enjoyed the carefree atmosphere of a safe neighborhood. Houses were open and every adult was your disciplinarian. Although the neighborhood was safe, the same couldn’t always be said for us kids.
At age nine, I viewed adults as mere obstacles—slalom gates to be skillfully dodged as I raced toward my next adventure. It wasn’t rebellion; just a wholesome energy. As a result, I often found myself being disciplined by someone other than my parents. More than once I was dragged by my earlobe to a time out at a neighbor’s house. Can you imagine the conflict that would cause in today’s environment?
Times have changed. Today’s parents are hard pressed to find safe zones for their children whereas my parents could trust the adults of our neighborhood with their child. That’s sadly no longer true.
Today, parenting is much more hands on and their calling so much more complex.
My mother and I discussed this very issue when she was well into her 90’s. Aged and tired, she often drifted in and out of intelligent awareness. But on this subject, she paused, teared slightly and worried aloud that perhaps she had spent too much of her parenting energies scolding her sons rather than nurturing. As she spoke, I recognized her highly intelligent mind was fully engaged. And I was taken aback by her concern.
I had never considered my mother as having failed in any area.
However, we agreed how rapidly times have changed. We agreed parents must parent more closely today, knowing one can no longer trust a village to safely raise their children.
So, there in the grocery, as I wove in and out of this family’s life, I began to pray for their safety and happiness. I’m concerned for new parents, but I’m not afraid for them. I know the same Lord who guided my parents will guide each generation that looks to Him.
Moses, late in life, and way past raising any children, wrote these words of wisdom to young parents everywhere—
“Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7
If you’re no longer raising little ones, pray for those who are—and if you’re among the brave new crop of parents, pray for wisdom.
Read Ron’s column, Simple Faith, each Saturday on the Faith Page (page 3) of the Lancaster Eagle Gazette, or visit www.lancastereaglegazette.com.