My wife, Marilyn, and I are very different in many ways. One of the most obvious is her incredible knack for planning every moment of every day… weeks in advance—while I, on the other hand, am very spontaneous. My idea of adventure is to avoid any plan and shoot from the hip as situations arise. I think the little boy in me still wants to be a cowboy.
“All’s I need little lady is a horse and bed roll…(spit).”
But there’s no question that I benefit greatly from Marilyn’s disciplined approach to life. At one time I pitied her total slavery to a tight schedule, but now, years into our relationship, I’ve learned that this is what brings her peace. She enjoys a peaceful quality of life that often eludes me. Whereas she is quietly resigned to the activity that’s been scheduled, I wrestle with whether I “feel” like doing what’s on the schedule.
I believe I might be schedulephobic. A predetermined schedule strikes me as a restriction, like a claustrophobic person forced onto a submarine—the thought of my day being pre-arranged causes my stomach to tighten. The same subconscious panic overtakes me as when I have that reoccurring dream… you know, the one where everyone in your high school class is handing in a major assignment you had no idea was due!
It’s always been like this for me. It isn’t that I don’t enjoy participating in scheduled events, or that I’m unhappy; it’s just that I balk or clinch up when I discover I’m “scheduled.”
Once at an amusement park my granddaughter insisted on riding the roller coaster with me, but she just couldn’t make herself step into the coaster. She’d raise her foot, lean forward and then suddenly pivot the opposite direction. When I said, “You know you don’t have to go, don’t you?” she sobbed and said, “But I want to!”
Yeah…I know, sweetheart…I get it.
I wish I could embrace scheduled events and be more like Marilyn who holds a schedule tightly like it’s a cuddly puppy licking her face. I take some consolation in the fact that I’m creative—even artsy—by nature. But try as I might, my creative whims refuse to be forced into a prescribed schedule. I do my best work off the clock. I want to accomplish more, write more and study more. I deeply desire to tell more people that I love them and aspire to be more expressive in my relationships. I just can’t do it on cue.
There: I said it! I’m betting there are a number of you who feel the same way. I’m a very happy person generally speaking. I just take no solace in a schedule. I like to wing it; I like to improvise. If you’re a schedule person, you’re shaking your head, thinking this guy needs a good therapist. But if you relate to my aversion to schedules, I hope you will take consolation in knowing there are others out here just like you.
Truth is, we are each made so incredibly different and none of us are an exact replica of the other. I believe God delights in our uniqueness. I’ve become convinced my propensity to spurn schedules is not a broken characteristic, but one in a multitude of God-given characteristics that makes me who I am; just as Marilyn’s comfort with scheduling is God-given.
We are more than just “types” of people. Each of us are not merely one type or another; we are highly nuanced creatures who, when surrendered to the Son of God, find ourselves fully realized for exactly who we are intended to be. When we see ourselves as tiny masterpieces of God’s creativity we are spiritually elevated to a level of purpose beyond ourselves.
This Thanksgiving; I’m grateful that we are each uniquely made. I’m also grateful to having nothing scheduled for this weekend except to be…well—Thankful!
“You (God) know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.” Psalm 139:15
The LORD says: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3
Happy Thanksgiving!
Read Ron’s column, Simple Faith, each Saturday on the Faith Page (page 3) of the Lancaster Eagle Gazette, or visit www.lancastereaglegazette.com.