“No, absolutely not! We are not allowed to ask our customers if they want a senior discount…” sputtered my friend who works as a cashier at a local restaurant, “Regardless of how old they may appear!”
Interestingly enough, her company discovered many senior customers became insulted when anyone implied they were 55 or older and may qualify for a discount or a free cup of coffee.
I chuckled to myself to think how easily we are offended. I know, because I have been the champion of “easily offended,” even priding myself in haughty comebacks.
But, thank goodness, I’m beginning to mellow. More recently, I’ve come to realize things that once easily offended me—like poor service or poor workmanship—only offend me if I choose to be offended by them. In other words, I’ve learned I can choose to NOT be offended. For most of my life I’ve known only one response when someone or something offended my sensibilities…I became offended!
A mentor of mine helped me realize that the reason I was offended wasn’t because someone did or said something offensive (which often does occur), but I was offended because I chose to take offense to their action. He showed me a series of emotional reactions that only adds to my stress and seldom (if ever) improves the situation when I chose to be offended. It goes something like this:
First, the offense: someone or something rubs me the wrong way and I automatically (habitually) take offense.
Once offended, I become indignant. Once indignant, I feel empowered to believe I have the right to pass judgment on the offender.
Finally, in full blown righteous-indignation—and ruling out any possibility I could myself become offensive—I am emboldened to berate the situation and/or the person(s) involved.
Webster describes Indignant as feeling or showing anger or annoyance at what is perceived as unfair treatment; as in, “he was indignant at being the object of suspicion.”
Synonyms include: aggrieved, resentful, affronted, disgruntled, displeased, cross, angry, mad, annoyed, offended, exasperated, irritated, piqued, nettled, chagrined.
Most my life I’ve been easily offended, and as a result I have expended a great deal of energy expressing my righteous indignation. But more recently, my ever-increasing faith in Jesus Christ has caused his words to haunt me as I realize my unforgiveness only injures myself when I hold a grudge. His example resonates deep within my spirit and reminds me it’s better to forgive than to harbor harmful resentment.
I’m learning I can choose whether or not to be offended, regardless of how offensive the situation. It’s a matter of self-control (see Galatians 5:23).
Sure, I realize offensive things occur on a regular basis. However, one of the most incredible examples set by Jesus was his choice to not be easily offended… regardless of how offensive the situation became. Hanging on the cross he murmured, “Father, forgive them, they don’t know what they’re doing…”
Truth be told, Jesus entire journey here on earth as a man was way below his dignity, yet he chose day in and day out to overlook many offenses hurled at him. As a result, he more effectively accomplished his mission.
The Bible vividly describes this truism in Paul’s letter to the church at Philippi—
“Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever…” Philippians 2:5-7 & 9 The Message
I believe one of Christianity’s most important, underlying messages is: “Choose to not be so easily offended.”
I’ve decided to make it one of my New Year’s Resolutions…along with: “Don’t take myself too seriously!”
I hope you’ll join me in my happier corner of the world.
Happy New Year!
Read Ron’s column, Simple Faith, each Saturday on the Faith Page (page 3) of the Lancaster Eagle Gazette, or visit www.lancastereaglegazette.com.