If you’re a regular reader of my writing, or have sat under my teaching at any point, you probably know considerably more about me than I know about you. Following that assumption, you most certainly know I’m privileged to be married to Marilyn, who as a life-partner has given herself to working side by side with me in business and in ministry. Unlike many couples we discovered we can, and do, work well together. Well, let me rephrase…I’ve learned I don’t do many things well without Marilyn, and that’s just the honest truth! Her gentle nature helps moderate my gregarious, often boisterous tendencies. She regularly uses a very simple technique with which to silently communicate. She nudges me. That’s it…a simple nudge. And over the years I’ve learned to honor that simple nudge. With her nudge, I’m conditioned to pause and quickly reassess my path.
I’m only now recognizing how important her nudges are to my happiness. I mean, she’s done it for years but until only recently have I become fully conscious of its importance. Her nudges cause me to stop and retrace my words and motives. Her nudge immediately notifies me that I’ve said or done something that violates her sensibilities—about which I’m convinced are more perceptive than my own. I’ve also discovered her nudge causes me to move my attention from the subject at hand and onto her face. Because there, within the pleasant construct of that precious face, an important communiqué is being silently but importantly expressed. For example, her raised eyes overarched by a furrowed brow means, ‘You’re entering questionable territory…be very careful!’ Or, a dropped glance with pursed lips means, ‘If you stay on this path, I’m not responsible for where it takes us.’
Not all her nudges are negative. In fact, many are life-confirming and positive. But her nudges are important because we are a team. We do practically everything together and if I’m straying into an area with which she is not comfortable, it very likely I’m losing ground. She’s my canary in the coal mine…my Geiger counter whose static has always proven helpful.
As I matured, I became less irritated by her occasional nudges, no longer reading them as disruptive but realizing their importance. As a man, I need her approval, and I need her gentle nudges. I have grown to believe her nudges convey love, concern and support and not merely interruption or interference.
Years ago, as Marilyn and I sat in a tired Honda Station Wagon, packed full with everything we needed to attempt a new church plant, we prayed and anxiously waited to see if anyone would respond to our invitations. In that moment, we both caught our breath as a brilliant red cardinal swooped down and landed directly in front of us. Marilyn nudged me and said, “Do you see that? It’s like the Lord is saying, ‘I’m here, and it’s going to be fine.’”
That moment propelled us into years of life-shaping ministry. And, even as maudlin or sappy as this may seem, since that day each time Marilyn and I see a cardinal we consider it a nudge from our Savior—a silent communication gently reminding us He is present and lovingly involved in our lives.
After years in ministry together, Marilyn and I have certainly had our ups and downs. Ministry, unlike the manufacturing of widgets, doesn’t offer a finished product against which we’re able to measure success or failure—efficiency or excellence.
However, it seems just when these questions begin to crowd our thinking and are about to cloud our judgment a cardinal appears…and God nudges us. We don’t see them as divine directives but rather divine reminders that He loves us and walks with us.
One of my favorite Bible verses is found in the Old Testament book of Isaiah. It says, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’” (Isaiah 30:21 NIV)
It occurs to me, in order to receive Marilyn’s nudge and for that matter God’s nudge, I must keep them both close…within reach.
My prayer is that you feel the gentle nudge of the Savior and hear, “This is the way; walk in it.” RG