I am not a brave person by nature and am the exact antithesis of an adrenalin junky. Fight or flight really gets the endorphins running which makes some people almost high but for me…. well, it just makes me sleepy as I try to calm down and turn off whatever has made me feel threatened or frightened.
My lack of bravery is why I am better as a married person than I am a single person. Recently my husband and son went away for the weekend for a baseball tournament. The first few hours I was alone I was like Macaulay Culkin in “Home Alone” and just ran around (at least in my head) waving my arms elated with the fact that the bed didn’t have to get made, I didn’t have to cook at all if I didn’t want and I could sit and write for HOURS if that’s what my heart wanted to do. This lasted about twelve hours at which time I found myself (once again just like Macaulay’s character) talking out loud and saying things like “I’m doing whatever I want! You better come home and hassle me!”
With my “people” out of town, the dog and I packed our bags and went to spend the weekend at our camper that we keep at a nearby beautiful little campground. It was Saturday and the sun was shining, it wasn’t too hot, and I had been working inside on the computer most of the day. I stuck my nose out of the camper to breathe the air and let the dog out and something caught my eye. The sun reflecting on the lake was winking at me and beckoning me to come. One of my favorite things to do is Kayak. The day was perfect, the lake was calling. But I have never kayaked alone. My husband has always been there to accompany me and take care of business. I resisted the lake, but it finally became too much, and I mustered every last bit of courage I had and dragged the kayak out from under the camper.
Life Jacket? Check. Kayak plug? Check. Paddle? Check. Physical prowess that will allow me to get in and launch without tipping or tripping? Uncheck. But let’s give it a go. I portaged the “yak” across the road and down to the lake and awkwardly stepped in and pushed off (in front of many beach goers who were cringing and wondering if they should help). The launch and landing (while a bit awkward) went off without a hitch and the tour around the lake in the peaceful, beautiful waters was well worth the risk.
The Lord will often call us to do things that are way out of our comfort zone and often alone. What He showed me with my foray into desire over fear is that fear will rob us of so many blessings. Blessings that He has in store. No, Jesus didn’t call me to kayak but He did show me how fear will rob us of so much beauty and blessing in life. As I was making my last lap around the lake and turned to come in, a very gentle and sweet breeze kissed my cheek and I could just hear Him say “There…now wasn’t that fun?”
“I trust you Jesus. Even if it’s just you and me and no one else is to be found in a circumstance. You are my good Shepherd and I shall not fear. Thank you for my family. I love them so. Help us all to be brave and not miss blessings because we are afraid. In Your Holy Name~Amen.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”-Joshua 1:9 (NIV)
(emphasis mine)
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